It came to my attention this morning as I was spending time with the Lord that when my life gets crazy or more starts happening instead of running to the Lord for what I need I start running from Him. After giving it some thought and wondering why I do this I figured it out. I do it because the closer I am to Him the less control I have and what can I say, I'm a control freak at times! So after what is turning into three busy weeks in a row and a crazy weekend somewhere in the mix I found myself feeling so distant from the one person that would help bring calm to what is a very large storm growing inside my heart and head.
After reading 1st John this morning and spending some time journaling I feel like what could have landed me shipwrecked is now slowly calming to just a little rough patch on the adventure.
I feel like there is so much going on! We are in the process of buying a home in Middletown and just had everything officially approved yesterday...exciting yes, but for me very very scary at the same time. I'm not one to take risks...how I've managed to come out of the house and live I have no idea. But I like things for the most part to stay predictable and uncomplicated, my life that used to be the for mentioned is now anything but!
So, house...big thing! Next we have pool problems at work that continue to cause problems for me in so many different ways that it's frustrating. After that we have Samuel, he's having his heart cath done on Monday afternoon and I'm growing more and more nervous. I know the Lord has every single one of these things perfectly under control but I don't! I don't know what is going to happen or come of all of these things and like I said...Control Freak! I feel like some of them, well all of them, I have no control over.
So, I'm trying my very best to pray! Every time I start to feel overwhelmed just say a little prayer and ask the Lord for peace, wisdom, and a calm spirit. It's the only thing I can think to do...I'll let you know how it goes! But in the mean time I'll just keep praying and clinging to the Lord and if I get off course He'll bring me back! He is so good and faithful to never leave me and He doesn't...I just try and take over and steer this ship in the wrong direction...will I never learn???
Praying, Clinging, Trusting, Resting, In Christ Alone!
Lauren
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